This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Thursday, August 21, 2003
ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE
>>>>APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG
>>>>WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON,
>>>>"THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN,
>>>>ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED
>>>>TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>BUT JUST BEFORE HE REENTERED THE LANDER,
>>>>HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK
>>>>"GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL
>>>>REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY
>>>>IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED
>>>>ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD LUCK,
>>>>MR. GORSKY"STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG
>>>>ALWAYS JUST SMILED.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>ON JULY 5, 1995,
>>>>IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING
>>>>QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER
>>>>BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO
>>>>ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG
>>>>FELT HE COULD ANSWER THE QUESTION.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>IN 1938 WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL
>>>>MIDWEST TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL
>>>>WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS
>>>>NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THE BEDROOM WINDOWS.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL,
>>>>YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING
>>>>AT MR. GORSKY.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN
>>>>THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>TRUE STORY.
4:05 PM
Monday, August 18, 2003
HOW TO GET RID OF THAT STRESS!
Just in case you've had a rough week, here is a stress
management technique recommended in all the latest
psychological texts and yoga books. The funny thing is
that it really works. It's short, just 7 steps, so
read it all even if you're feeling too stressed.
1. Picture yourself next to a stream. (Can you hear it
bubbling?)
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place..
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place
called "the world."
You can breathe the clean, fresh, cool air ....in and
out...in and out... deeply breathing.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the
air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can barely make out the face of the person
you're holding underwater.
10:18 AM
1. I always wanted To have someone to hold,
> Someone to love. After meeting you...
> (inside card)
> I changed my mind.
>
>2. I must admit, You brought
> religion into my life...
> (inside card)
> I never believed in Hell
> Until I met you.
>
>3. As the days go by,
> I think how lucky I am...
> (inside card)
> That you're not here
> To ruin it for me.
>
>4. Congratulations on your promotion.
> Before you go...
> (inside card)
> Will you take the knife from my back?
> You'll probably need it again.
>
>5. Someday I hope to marry...
> (inside card)
> Someone other than you.
>
>6. Happy birthday!
> You look great for your age...
> (inside card)
> Almost lifelike!
>
>7. When we were together,
> You said you'd die for me...
> (inside card)
> Now we've broken up,
> I think it's time to keep your promise.
>
>8. We've been friends for a very long time...
> (inside card)
> What do you say we stop?
>
>9. I'm so miserable without you...
> (inside card)
> It's almost like you're still here.
>
>10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
> (inside card)
> Did you ever find out who the father was?
>
>11. You are such a good friend
> If we were on a sinking ship
> And there was only one life jacket...
> (inside card)
> I'd miss you terribly
> And think of you often.
>
>12. Your friends and I wanted
> to do something really special
> for your birthday...
> (inside card)
> So we're having you put to sleep.
>
>13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
> (Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia)
>
>14. Looking back over the years
> We've been together,
> I can't help but wonder...
> (inside card)
> What was I thinking?
>
>15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
> (inside card)
> Too bad no one likes your husband.
>
>16. How could two people as beautiful as you...
> (inside card)
> Have such an ugly baby?
10:17 AM
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