This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Thursday, October 16, 2003
>The Darwin Awards Are Out!
> > >
> > >First Place Candidate for this years Darwin Awards.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> > >during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
> > >Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the
>
> > >barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
> > >********************************************************
> > >And now, the honorable mentions:
> > >The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
> > >cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim
> > >to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent
> > >out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
>out
> > >and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
> > >
> > >********************************************************
> > >
> > >A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
> > >during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
> > >woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> > >
> > >********************************************************
> > >
> > >After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> > >found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
> > >from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
> > >incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
> > >everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers
> > >to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
>
> > >excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
> > >discovered for 3 days.
> > >
> > >**************************************************************
> > >
> > >An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
> > >serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how
> > >he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was
>simply
> > >trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train
> > >before he was hit.
> > >
> > >
> > >********************************************************
> > >
> > >A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the
> > >counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
>
> > >the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register,
> > >which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the
> > >clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount
>
> > >of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you
> > >and gives you money, was a crime committed?)
> > >
> > >********************************************************
> > >
> > >Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> > >that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
> > >grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
>
> > >over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
> > >the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the
> > >liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught
>
> > >on videotape.
> > >
> > >********************************************************
> > >
> > >The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
> > >Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
> > >demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> > >open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
> > >onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
>
> > >man, frustrated, walked away.
> > >
> > >********************************************************
> > >
> > >A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!
> > >
> > >When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
>
> > >Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
> > >arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor
> > >home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
> > >admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
>
> > >the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
> > >declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
> > >ever had.
9:49 AM
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