This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Thursday, July 17, 2003
> Rules
>
> You always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are "The
> Rules" from the male side. These are our rules!
>
> Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
> complaining about you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
> not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
> say it!
>
> 1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.. That's
> what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect
> us to act like soap opera guys.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit..
> We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
> you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
> trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
>
> Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that; it's like
> camping.
>
>
> _____
2:29 PM
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