This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Thursday, June 12, 2003
Subject: smile...
EVER WONDER...
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
Lottery"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows
98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid
is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication...(we
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just
get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness...(and I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only...(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use...(now, somebody out there, help me on
this. I'm a bit curious.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals...(was there a lot
of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
chuckle). Ah heck, send it to EVERYONE. We all need to smile every once in
a while .
2:35 PM
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