This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Saturday, June 21, 2003
How to Shower Like a Woman
>
> 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
> laundry hamper
> according to lights and darks.
>
> 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
> you see husband
> along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
> 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
> make mental note to
> do more sit-ups
>
> 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
> cloth, long
> loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
>
> 5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
> shampoo with 43 added
> vitamins.
>
> 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>
> 7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
> conditioner enhanced
> with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15
> minutes.
>
> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
> for 10 minutes
> until red.
>
> 9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and
> jaffa cake body
> wash.
>
> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
>
> 11. Shave armpits and legs.
>
> 12. Turn off shower.
>
> 13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
> mold spots with Tilex.
>
> 14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a
> small country.
> Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>
> 15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
>
> 16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
> towel on head.
>
> 17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
> exposed areas.
>
> How To Shower Like a Man
>
> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
> bed and leave
> them in a pile.
>
> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along
> the way, shake
> wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
>
> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire
> the size of
> your wiener and scratch your ass.
>
> 4. Get in the shower.
>
> 5. Wash your face
>
> 6. Wash your armpits.
>
> 7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
> rinse them off.
>
> 8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh
> at how loud they
> sound in the shower.
>
> 9. Spend majority of time washing privates and
> surrounding area.
>
> 10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
> stuck on the soap.
>
> 11. Shampoo your hair.
>
> 12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
>
> 13. Pee.
>
> 14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
>
> 15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor
> because curtain
> was hanging out of tub the whole time.
>
> 16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
>
> 17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
> light and fan on.
>
> 18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist.
> If you pass wife, pull
> off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
> 'woo-woo' sound again.
>
> 19. Throw wet towel on bed.
>
> If there is anyone one among you who did not laugh
> at the truth behind
> this
> email, there is something so very wrong with you.>
>
9:47 PM
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