This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Thursday, June 12, 2003
BREAKFAST
> >
> > A guy comes into a coffee shop and places his order,
> > he says "I want 3 flat
> > tires and a pair of headlights."
> >
> > The waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, goes to
> > the kitchen and asks
> > the cook, "This guy out there just ordered 3 flat
> > tires and a pair of
> > headlights. What does he think, this is an auto
> > parts store?"
> >
> > "No," the cook says, "3 flat tires means 3 pancakes
> > and a pair of
> > headlights is 2 eggs sunny side up."
> >
> > "Oh," says the waitress. The waitress thinks about
> > this and then she spoons
> > up a bowl of beans and gives it to the customer.
> >
> > The guy says "What are the beans for?"
> >
> > The waitress replies "I thought while you were
> > waiting for the flat tires
> > and headlights, that you might want to gas up."
> >
******************
A high school teacher in Kentucky asked her students
to use the word
"fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly said, "My family went to my granddaddy's farm,
and we saw all
his
pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to
use the word
"fascinate".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to
See Rock City and
I
was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Sally, but I
want the word
"fascinate".
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated
because Little
Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally
decided there was
no
way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she
called on him.
Johnny said, "My cousin's wife has a sweater with ten
buttons, but her
tits are so big, she can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried
***************
Way down in dat old swamp known as Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been
>pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he brought her to
>the
>doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
>
>She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, "Hey,
>
>Bubba! You just had you a son! Aint dat grand!!"
>
>Bubba got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,
>"Hold
>on! We ain't finished yet!"
>
>The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said,"Hey, Bubba! You got you
>a
>daughter!!!! She a pretty lil ting, too...."
>
>Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor said, "Hold on, we
>
>still ain't got done yet!"
>
>The doctor then delivered another boy and said,"Bubba, you just had
>yourself
>another boy!"
>
>When Bubba and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down
>with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we ran out of
>Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil?"
>
>She said, "Yeah, I do."
>
>Bubba said, "Man, it's a damn good ting we didn't use no WD-40!!"
10:53 AM
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