This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Thursday, April 24, 2003
Remember this story the next time you dine out.
>
> THE SPOON
>
> A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for
> an organization...
>
> Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed
> that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt
pocket.
> It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy
> brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his
shirt
> pocket, then I looked around the room and saw that all the staff had
spoons
> in their pockets.
>
> When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the
> spoon?"
>
> "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen
> Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our
processes.
> After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that the
spoon
> was the most frequently dropped utensil. This represents a drop
frequency
of
> approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel is
prepared to
> deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to
the
> kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
>
> As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace
> it with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the
> kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was
rather
> impressed.
>
> I noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the
> waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the
same
> string hanging from their flies My curiosity got the better of me and
before
> he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why
you
> have that string right there?"
>
> "Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is
> as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out
> that we can save time in the restroom." "How so?" "See," he
continued," by
> tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over
the
> urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the
> hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."
>
> After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
>
> "Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know
> about the others, but I use the spoon."
9:24 AM
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
A woman is just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rings. Her husband, heading to the shower himself, asks her to see who's at the door, so she wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands her next-door neighbor, Rob. Before she can
say a word, Rob says, "I'll give you $500 dollars to drop that towel you
have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of him. He looks for a few seconds, hands her $500
dollars, and leaves.
Excited about her earnings, the woman puts the towel back on and runs upstairs. Her husband yells out from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was
Rob from next door," she replies.
"Great," the husband says. "Did he say anything about the $500 dollars he owes me?"
9:41 AM
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