This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Wednesday, March 12, 2003
LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK
1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP
2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY
4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG
7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.
8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE
10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER
11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK
12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
13. WHLE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS
14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!
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Man Shoots Laptop
George Doughty a 48-year-old from Lafayette, Colorado, was
working in an office when he walked next door into the bar he
owned and announced to patrons that he was going to shoot his
laptop computer, local newspapers said.
Mr Doughty then reportedly warned customers to cover their
ears, before shooting the laptop four times.
He later hung the hapless computer on his bar wall in the style of
a hunting trophy, police said.
Local police said that the only similar case they had seen before
involved a computer shot with a rifle by a man whose wife had
claimed it in a divorce settlement.
"It's sort of funny, because everybody always threatens their
computers," police officer from the Lafayette police department
Rick Bashor told local newspapers.
"[But] it's the first time someone shot a computer because he
was upset with it."
Police added that because Mr Doughty put customers and the
bartender in danger, he was arrested on suspicion of felony
menacing, reckless endangerment and prohibited use of
weapons, before being released to appear in court on a later
date.
Mr Doughty admitted in police reports that he should not have
shot his laptop, but said that at the time it had seemed
appropriate.
11:39 AM
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