This is my collection of things I found amusing, anything from song lyrics to forwards, and maybe if ya look hard enough, ya might see one or two of my thoughts! Enjoy!
**Also** I hate forwarding email so this is a shortcut!
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Email me at www.jenicabeth@hotmail.com
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Forwards I found amusing!
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Tuesday, January 21, 2003
A big city, California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on
his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property,
and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
U.S., and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do
things in Iowa. We settle small disagreements like this
with the Iowa Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Iowa three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick
me three times, and so on, back an forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the
lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped
the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the
farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer
summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,
"Okay, you old coot now it's my turn."
The farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
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The Indian
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of
buffalo shit in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want
coffee.
"The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in
one gulp, picks up the bucket of shit, throws it into the air, blasts
it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one
hand and a bucket of shit in the other. He walks up to the counter
and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee.
"The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from
the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway"?
The Indian says, "Me in training for government job.
Drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for rest of the day."
5:55 PM
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